My review of the film The Conjuring

I had the privilege to see an advance screening of the paranormal themed movie "The Conjuring". To be honest I was a bit trepadicious about this as paranormal movies of late haven't impressed me (I'm still bitter about how much The Last Exorcism sucked and did we really need a sequel?) but given the fact that this movie was based upon a well known case by famed paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren gave me a bit of hope. Still ever the skeptic I went in not knowing what to expect.

I won't give away many plot details, but it involves a family moving into a new house in the country (always seems to be the case right?) and the ensuing paranormal activity they encounter. Finally they enlist the help from Ed and Lorraine Warren to try to determine what's going on and to try to help the family. 

 I really enjoyed the movie and it follows the story pretty closely (it's dramatic in some parts but hey it's a movie, it's supposed to be like that). Both Patrick Wilson (loved him in Watchmen) and Vera Farmiga were great casting decisions as Ed and Lorraine. The director and cinematographer did a great job setting the mood for the story. Honestly the way it was shot reminded me a bit of The Exorcist, it had that grainy realistic feel to it. Pacing was good and I just have to say to the studio a big thank you for not putting all the scary parts in the trailer and actually leaving most of them out and this lead to the audience jumping several times at unexpected moments. 

 What I really liked was that it showed how intense a demonic possession can be. It seems like most TV shows throw around the term demon like its common place or something and that anyone with a bible and a vial of holy water can cast out. This is far from the truth. For anyone who does go see this, try to keep that in mind. I know I'm preaching, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves in the paranormal community of people labeling themselves "demonologists" because it sounds cool. Trust me it's not.

 Overall I really enjoyed the film and will definitely go see it again when it comes out. It's hard to say what my favorite part is, but I loved how they discussed briefly the Annabelle case (a demonic possession involving a haunted doll) and they even hinted at Amityville at the end. Remember this is a movie based on a true story so they took some liberties with it. But it's a good movie and I would definitely recommend it.

Murdered prostitute said to haunt old Sanger bar where she was killed

On May 16, 1993 one of the worst massacres in the history of Fresno County occurred on the outskirts of the town of Sanger at a little bar called Carrillo's Club. It was after 2:00 am and the bar had just closed when two men armed with semi-automatic weapons entered the bar and opened fire on. When it was over a total of seven people were dead including the owner, his mother, his half-brother, a friend, and three employees. For years the murders remained unsolved until an inmate that was already serving time for another murder in Fresno County, a Johnnie Malarkey, admitted the being one of the two gunmen (the other, a Allen Helfin, committed suicide in 1998). Upon his admission the case was closed and he is currently serving several life imprisonments for the crimes he committed.

The murders aren't the only sordid history that Carrillo's Club was a part of. For years the place was rumored to be a hub for drug trafficking and prostitution and was well known for being a scene of rapes, stabbings, and numerous shootings. Given the fact that it was on the outskirts of Sanger it fell into a grey area of jurisdiction between the city and Fresno County as to who had authority over it. The murders were the finally grisly act in a place steeped in a history or illicit activity.

Even though the bar is no longer around, it seems one of its former patrons ghostly form has been seen near the old location. Many witnesses have seen the ghost of a young woman walking down the road in the direction of Fresno. She's usually only seen for an instant before she disappears. Interesting enough it's thought she isn't one of the victims from the 1993 shootings, but was a prostitute that was murdered there years ago. For whatever reason she continues to walk down the road, perhaps still trying to get home.

Triangle shaped UFO seen north of Fresno along Hwy. 41

It seems this video of a UFO filmed north of Fresno was making the rounds all last week. First a Canadian website was reporting on it and then one in India and multiple UFO websites out there. Watching the video several times had me perplexed. It wasn't a typical blurred out airplane on approach. So what was it? I decided to leave a comment on the person who posted the video to YouTube and see if they would get back to me.

As luck would have it, they did. A husband and wife were driving north on Hwy 41 when the husband saw a strange light near Valley Children's Hospital. They quickly exited 41 at Children's Blvd. and looped around Mesa Blvd. until it turned into Cobb Ranch Rd. It was here they got a good view of the object and proceeded to film it.

From what I was told the object wasn't moving very fast and at first it seemed to move slowly towards them before reversing its course and heading back the way it had come before disappearing out of sight.

I has asked if anyone else besides the couple had seen it and was told no. I had also mentioned the possibility of it being a medvac helicopter coming in for a landing but was told by the wife that they live near Fresno Yosemite and is familiar with what a helicopter looks like as it's nearing touchdown.

So here's the proverbial question: what was this thing? Could the witnesses be wrong and it was a helicopter approaching the hospital? I asked the witness what day and time they had filmed this and was told it was on February 14 at around 10:00 pm (maybe the aliens were going for a romantic drive?) and several phone calls have been made to Valley Children's to see if any medvacs landed around that time. I'm also going to see if I can find a number through either Fresno Yosemite or the FAA and see if I can find anything out this way. Even if I'm told nothing was in the area at that time that rules out the possibility of a helicopter. This leads it to either being some government type aircraft or aliens taking a joy ride through the San Joaquin River. If it was some government secret project, why have lights on the damn thing and fly it near a hospital? Though given the current state of affairs in DC and the lack of any common sense this wouldn't surprise me really. As for aliens, I guess it's possible. I mean Valley Children's has some advanced tech in it, maybe they were curious as to how we treat our young. Nah, I still say they were joy riding. It's what I would do if dad left me the keys to his flying saucer.

Interesting enough the witness also included this map of where they were located when the filmed the object as well as an estimate of where the object was at given some known locations and distances. I wonder if anyone else at the hospital saw this. I think it’s time to do a bit of digging.

Does a secret vampire underground society exist in Fresno?

Cleaning up my inbox this evening I came across an email I received back in June 2011 from a local paranormal investigator. In it they asked me if I had every heard of an underground society in the Fresno area that possibly had vampiric practices. The person also mentioned something about a door on Belmont Ave under the overpass that's east of Roeding Park and it being a possible entrance to an underground area where the society supposedly meets.

From the description they gave me the door is sometimes locked, but is usually left ajar. The investigator asked around and was told it was nothing more than a maintenance room but decided to investigate for themselves. They parked their car a bit away and walked to the door. Unfortunately the door was padlocked but the way the lock is set up you can somewhat squeeze in to have a look (if you look at the photo I posted you can see what the person meant). They were able to shine a light inside and saw a set of stairs going down and nothing that would portray the room as being something for storing maintenance supplies there.

The door to a secret undergound society? Or to a broom closet?

Now I wrote the person back but never received a response. Could the person be trying to pull a fast one on me? Perhaps. Or the conspiracy theorist would say the person who contacted me was "taken care of" by the underground society (I like to think they have their own version of Luca Brasi). But if that was the case, why not me as well? Most likely this was just some rumor the person heard and knowing that I like to keep track of all things strange in Fresno, contacted me to see if I knew of anything. And when I said I didn't, they probably lost interest in the subject.

But that doesn't mean there aren't secret societies in Fresno. There's a Freemason Lodge on Shields Avenue, and I believe there is also a Odd Fellow's Lodge in the area too. I know these aren't that secret anymore; but they still are clouded in mystery, especially the Freemasons. As for any vampiric secret societies in the Fresno area, I doubt they exist. But if they do, please feel free to have a member contact me. But just don't drink my blood. I imagine with the amount of nachos I eat it would be like drinking Tapatio.

UFO seen over Clovis in October 2012

I thought I would delve back into UFO sightings for a bit, mostly because the ghostly aspect of Fresno has been quiet as of late. I decided to check out the Mutual UFO Network's (MUFON) website as they list sightings by county and see if they had anything interesting. And as luck would have it something strange was reported in Clovis on October 21, 2012. Here's the report as it was filed with MUFON:

I received a phone call tonight from my Mother around 9:30 PM telling me about the UFO that her and my Father just saw. My parents were driving in their car, making my Dad the driver and my Mother the passenger. As they were heading WEST on the streets of Eighth and Pollasky my Mother told me she noticed a bright orange snowflake/star shaped UFO hovering around above a Catholic church(Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church). She told me this occurred around 9:10pm or so. These streets are located in a neighborhood so when they came to a stop sign my Mom pointed the UFO out to my Father who then looked and saw the same bright orange UFO who he also described as being bright orange especially being against the night sky. My Mom said the object was just hovering over the church for a little bit. But my Father became scared and drove a little down the street aways from the object. My Mother was not scared but intrigued by the sighting and told my Father to stop on the side of the street. She told me they were both looking at the object from inside the car pulled over on the side of the street. When they were parked looking at the object my Mother said the UFO started slowly hover towards their car and then became dim in color but was still slightly visible with a more transparent shade of orange. My Mom kept her eyes on the object as she said it started moving away in the opposite direction of the moon (East). At the time they were the only ones driving on the road but then another vehicle turned on the street from Minnewawa onto eighth and when this happened my Mother said the UFO disappeared. When the UFO was visible my Mother also tried to tell my Father to take a photo with his cell phone but my Mom said he was so shocked he couldnt sum up the courage. Both my parents are devoted Christians and to get this phone call from my Mom really took me by surprise thats why I felt I had to report this myself since my parents arent technologically inclined as me with using computers. I was bummed though that they didnt get a picture.

My first inclination was to think that this was another Chinese lantern mistaken for some sort of aerial craft. But the description of the UFO is different than the characteristics that a Chinese lantern portrays; the lanterns usually drift up slowly as they are carried aloft by the wind currents. This hovered over a church and then moved towards the witnesses' car before disappearing. Lanterns don't hover, trust me, seeing that I've seen one myself (and misidentified it as a UFO). So what was seen over Clovis that October night? Perhaps Fresno is the UFO hotspot that some claim it to be.

Is a hundred year old tavern in Tracy haunted by a former owner?

The Banta Inn located in Tracy, California

Photo courtesy of Running Wolf Productions

About two hours north of Fresno is the town of Tracy. Though it was incorporated into a city in 1910, the city's history goes further back. In the late 1890's it was a small, but growing town, and a two story saloon was built. The first floor was the actual saloon and the upstairs acted as an inn of sorts. It was said the owner of the place was associated with Joaquin Murrieta and the saloon also acted as a gambling parlor where the upstairs inn doubled as a bordello. The inn was a popular stop on the stagecoach line and was also a known place for gold miners and panners to trade in their tired mules for a pair of fresh ones.

In 1937 tragedy struck as the Banta Inn nearly burned to the ground. No one knows what started the fire, but when it was finally put out the bodies of a mother and her child were found. Despite this tragedy the inn was quickly rebuilt, but this time as a one story general store. Given it's history, the owners decided to keep the original name of Banta Inn despite the fact there were no longer any rooms used as lodging.

Sometime in the 1960's the owner's daughter and her husband Ton decided to turn the general store back into a bar and restaurant. Tony's favorite place was behind the bar and he was known for stacking coins at the register and playing poker by himself when business was slow. One day in 1968, while tending bar, Tony had a heart attack and collapsed and died.

Even before Tony's death the Banta Inn was said to be haunted; the mother and child from the 1938 fire were said to have been seen around the Inn for years. Soon after Tony passed away workers would find money stacked by the bar's register even though it was locked and no one was in the room. Ashtrays and other times would be found in locations different than where they had been left. And sometimes the TV would change channels even though no one would touch the remote.

What are the reasons behind these hauntings? With Tony it seems that he is still at the bar where he was the most happiest. And it seems he still likes to make his presence known. But what of the mother and child, why do they haunt the Banta Inn? Witnesses have heard the voice of a child crying and as stated before both mother and child have been seen. Could these two not realize they are ghosts and are trying to reach out for help? Or is it just part of the incident replaying over and over like a video recording, fading as the years go by? One thing is for certain; the place is definitely haunted and is one of the more known spots in the country for having paranormal activity.

Last I checked the Inn was still open as a bar/restaurant and they are very open to their history, both regular and paranormal. Perhaps next time I head up that way I'll stop by for lunch or dinner and say hi to Tony.

The top five really really really bad horror movies ever made

I love a good horror movie and I'll watch pretty much anything. And I do love a bad movie as well, which is usually of the horror genre for some reason. But yet there are horror movies out there so bad that even I can't watch them. Given all the crap Hollywood has pumped out lately mislabeled as a horror movie, it was hard to chose the top ten. After drinking a metric ton of alcohol last night to numb the pain I narrowed that list down to what I consider the five shittiest horror movies. Ever.


Number 5: Darkness

Let me preface that I fucking hate this movie. Why do you ask? Because it's what made me form the theory that any PG-13 horror movie is pure shit. When the trailers first came out for it I was stoked. Creepy kids always scare the shit out of me. Plus who isn't afraid of the dark? Yeah this movie killed it for me. As typical with any horror movie these days, they show all the scary scenes in the trailer to lure you in and then you are stuck for 90 minutes watching people running around acting scared when you know the reason why. And the ending just pissed me off, was so abrupt and made no damn sense. What makes me even more mad is I found out years later that it was originally unrated in Spain but was edited to be shown here in the States. And from what I read it was pretty damn scary. But of course we get the dumbed down version that leaves everyone at the end wondering what the fuck just happened.



Number 4: Troll 2

Oh Troll 2 where do I start? First there aren't any trolls in this movie, but goblins. And these goblins are vegetarians that want to eat people but first transform the people into plants so they can then eat said people (yeah I don't make this shit up). A family decides to head to Nilbog for summer vacation (can you guess what nilbog spelled backwards is? This movie has some fucking geniuses writing for it). I won't go into detail about plot (mostly cause there isn't much of one), but this movie has some of the worst acting ever seen. Proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by this clip.



And if you think that's bad, it gets worse. Early in the movie when the family arrives at the house they are staying at they notice a vegetarian style dinner laid out for them. As they are about to eat the main antagonist is visited by the ghost of his grandfather and is told the food will turn the family into plants for the goblins to eat. Grandpa then freezes time allowing our young hero to figure a way to stop his family from eating the doomed dinner. I could explain what happens, but watching the clip makes more sense. Or something like that. Thankfully it gives one of the greatest movie lines at the end.



Number 3: Hobgoblins

Never after watching a movie have I wanted to take a shower so hot it melts the skin off of me. This movie does that. Trying to capitalize on the success of Gremlins, Hobgoblins is a cheap knock off that involves shitty hand puppet monsters, actors probably straight from community college (except for the dude that played Maynard in Pulp Fiction), more parking cars scenes then you can count, and the most epic garden tool fight scene you'll ever see (and probably the only one). But this movie is a whole new level of skeeze. Never before have I wretched while watching a movie and yet this one made me do it at least half a dozen times. Watch the trailer below and share in my pain.



Number 2: Birdemic: Shock and Terror

I love Hitchcock, one of my favorite directors and to me the master of suspense. So when I first heard of Birdemic: Shock and Terror (yes that's it's actual title) and that the director did it as a homage of The Birds (of of my favorite Hitchcock films) I was curios  After watching just the trailer I made the assumption that the director had apparently did all the known cocaine in the world and then procured a Commodore 64 computer to do all of his special effects. Seriously I didn't know movies could be this bad. Horrible acting, horrible pacing, horrible editing, the shittiest special effects you've ever seen (I've seen swedes with better ones, no joke). I just want to know who finances these damn things. And apparently this movie has developed such cult following there there is a sequel in the works. All I can say is grab your coat hangers.


Number 1: House of the Dead

Oh Uwe Boll, what a piece of shit you directed. For those that don't know Uwe Boll is a German "director" (and I use that term loosely) that has a pension for making movies vaguely based off of video games and then shitting out the worst piece of crap on celluloid ever. I don't even know where to start on this thing. Ever play the video game? Remember when a zombie attacked you there would be slashes across the screen letting you know that you were hit? Apparently Boll felt compelled to insert said clips into the movie to inform the audience that a character was indeed attacked by a zombie. I shit you not. And I love that the actors in this movie, who are teens headed to a rave on an island (really?), have combat training in the use of fire arms as well as training in martial arts. Yeah.

And then there is the over use of slow motion special effects. I swear there is so much use of bullet time that the directors of The Matrix should have received a cut from this film. Though given how shitty it did at the box office I think that would add up to about enough to buy a grande white mocha frap at Starbucks. And even Michael Bay would have told Boll to tone it down on the slow motion. There are so many things wrong with this movie and no redeeming values what so ever. So of course they made a sequel just to say "fuck you" to all of us. This movie does have one shining moment in it though. You see the chick who played Lois Lane on Smallville topless. That has to count for something. But given this piece of shit movie, not much.

I looked for a while to find a clips that showed everything, figuring I'd have to find one for the video game clips, slow motion and bullet time, and teenaged Jack Bauers. Imagine my surprise when I found one clip that had all of that plus some shitty hip hop music blaring loudly. Enjoy. :)



So that's my list of what I consider the 5 worst horror movies ever. Yeah I could have included "Manos" Hands of Fate or Plan 9, but that would have been too easy. Sad thing is given the amount of shit Hollywood pumps out each year under the cheap pretense of a horror movie (Paranormal Activity 4 I'm looking at you) that next year could be an entirely new list.

Is the old Sanger High School haunted by a pair of star crossed lovers?

Apparently schools are a popular haunting spot for star crossed lovers. There's a story that the old Sanger High School (now the Washington Academic Middle School) has a pair of ghosts that haunt its theater area. Sometime in the 1990's there was a young couple madly in love like only teenagers could be. The girl's parents were very strict and she hid the fact that she had a boyfriend from them for several months as she knew they would not have approved. One day her mother finally found about the boyfriend and demanded the daughter break up with him immediately and never see him again. Defying her mother and apparently taking inspiration from Romeo and Juliet, she met her boyfriend at the high school and both committed suicide in the theater by hanging themselves.

Why they chose the theater to take their lives is never said. Perhaps it was their favorite place to spend time, or maybe they met there and it held a special place in their heart. What is known is that both ghosts have been seen in the theater since their deaths. The girl is usually seen on the second floor near the area where the balcony used to be located. A more gruesome vision of her has also been seen hanging from a rope in front of the stage. As for her boyfriend, he is usually seen near the main entrance to the theater. No one knows why he is seen here, some think he may be waiting for his love for some unknown reason.

Now whether this story has any merit to it or not is hard to say. Someone e-mailed me the story, saying they had heard it when they went to the old high school. I did the obligatory internet searches, but it's not like Google is going to find me a website with this story on it (well I guess it will now once their bots scan this page). Hopefully someone reading this will know something and it will be able to add to the story. Still an interesting story and adds yet another legend to the area.