My version of The Fourth Kind

As I had posted a few days ago, The Fourth Kind absolutely sucked. I mean really sucked. As I was leaving the theater with some friends, I joked that I could make a Swede that was better than the original. For those who don't know what a swede is, in the film Be Kind Rewind the characters run a VHS rental store and all the tapes are erased. So the characters go about with a camcorder to remake the movies with pretty much no budget. They are called Swedes because one of the customers asks why it takes so long to get a movie and Jack Black's character says they are from Sweden. Hence the term Swede was born.

For over a year now, Brodiemash over at the Dumbdrum has put on a Swedefest where local filmmakers submit there Sweded movies. I had already submitted my entry and the deadline had passed, but I still wanted to see if I could make a swede of The Fourth Kind. I was also curious in how quick of time I could make one. What you are about to see took me four hours to do, from the initial concept to the burning of the DVD. Obviously if you have interest in seeing the movie, don't watch my version. But come on, my review should have dissuaded you by now not to see this turd.



So that's it, my remake or Sweded version of The Fourth Kind. Do yourself a favor and watch my this one instead of spending $10 plus for that waste of celluloid that is in theaters right now.

Review of The Fourth Kind

Normally I don't do movie reviews (I leave that over to the folks over at The Dumbdrum), but I received a free pass from The Fresnan for a sneak preview of The Fourth Kind, a movie which states that is based off actual documentation of people that were reportedly abducted by aliens. The movie starts off with a disclaimer by the main actress, Milla Jovovich stating that the the movie is a re-enactment of original documentary footage and also claims to use never-before-seen archival footage that is integrated into the film. Unfortunately we never heard this as there was a problem with the audio and didn't hear this, so I will have to assume this is true.

The movie then switches to the director, Olatunde Osunsanmi, interviewing a Dr. Abigail Tyler at Chapman University. Dr. Tyler recants her story of how her husband, also a psychologist, is murdered in 2000 and explains on how she continues his sleep deprivation study in Nome, Alaska. The movie then switches to reenactment mode and shows Dr. Tyler interviewing several patients. Here is where the supposed original footage is spliced in with the reenactments, in a side by side comparison. Honestly it felt like a badly done 24 without the ass kicking that involves Jack Bauer.

For the next hour or so, you see this original footage next to the reenactments, it was almost like the director wanted the audience to make sure they were watching reenactments. My problem with this so called original footage shows confidential sessions between patients and their doctor. We are told early on that the names of all the patients have been changed to protect their identity. Yet their faces aren't blurred out in any of this original footage. So this had me questioning things. They also show some police footage they claim that is real (shown alongside it's reenactment), but I find it hard to believe that the Nome police department would release any sort of police video, especially one for a movie that is about alien abductions.

I don't want to give away much of the movie, but it had me laughing at times it was so hard to believe. The ending especially, with it's supposed big reveal had me almost on the floor laughing so much. I don't want to say anything, but I'll put it this way. I've been following the UFO field since I was ten when I first heard about the abduction theory. What is reported to have actually happened at the end of the movie would have been the greatest piece of evidence ever to actually prove both UFO's and aliens actually exist. Yet no one has heard of this before. Also, in the trailer (as well as the movie) you see a saucer shaped object fly over a house and this is supposed to be police footage. You would think this would have been common knowledge throughout the UFO community of this incident, yet I have not heard one person talk about it.

Another thing is that the movie never claims these sessions happened in Nome, that the movie is based on the sessions. But in that same instant the movie states that Nome has the highest percentage of missing persons in Alaska and tries to link that to alien abductions. Yet the FBI has investigated many of these missing person reports and came to the conclusion that the high rate of alcoholism combined with the harsh landscape surrounding Nome may account for a majority of the disappearances.

Like I said, I normally don't do reviews, so I apologize if this isn't what most people expected. Honestly it was an awful movie and I believe that none of the footage is actual and was created solely for the purpose of this film to make it seem authentic and to generate buzz so people would want to see something they thought was real. No one has ever heard of a Dr. Tyler or any member of her family, nor has anything like this happen in Nome. I'm going to try to dig around a bit and see if there is any validity to this, but as of this moment I believe this movie to be one hundred percent fiction despite the claims of the director and actor. Even as a work of fiction, this movie doesn't terrify nor does it make one think about if aliens are abducting unsuspecting citizens. Honestly it makes me think someone was trying to create the next Blair Witch, or more recently, Paranormal Activity. And in trying to do that, this movie fails miserably at that.

Some ways to celebrate Dia de Los Muertos in Fresno

From the Fresno Bee.

In the central San Joaquin Valley, there are a number of ways to celebrate Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead). It’s as simple as walking in a candlelit church procession or dipping bread into chocolate in front of an altar.

Dia de Los Muertos is the two-day Mexican holiday with pre-Columbian and Catholic traditions honoring the dead. It is traditionally celebrated on Nov. 1, All Saints Day, and Nov. 2, All Souls Day. The celebrations this year will be Sunday and Monday.

Events are centered on the belief that the spirits of loved ones float back to Earth to reunite with their living relatives and friends for a brief moment. Altars serve as focal points, displaying the mementos of the loved ones.

Here are some ways you can take part in Dia de Los Muertos:

View exhibits

Take time to soak in the meaning of eight altar exhibits on display at Arte Américas, 1630 Van Ness Ave.

There’s a lot of detail to each altar honoring cancer victims, this year’s theme. Many include the Mexican art papel picado (perforated paper) in bright pink, orange, turquoise and purple.

The cultural center’s executive director, Grace Solis, helped build an altar remembering her father Henry Solis, uncle Juan B. Solis and nephew John Diaz.

She included her father’s hat on the display — one that he wore while gardening and welding.

“He built the gate to the [Del Rey] cemetery, where he is buried,” she says.

The exhibit runs through Nov. 25. The center is open 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Thursdays, and closed Sundays and Mondays. Cost is $3 for adults, or $2 for students and children.

Details: (559) 266-2623 or arteamericas.org

Eat pan de muertos

Snack on pan de muertos, “bread of the dead,” the traditional sweet bread that is baked to honor the deceased.

Three extra tables are set up at Oaxaca Restaurant, 4773 E. Belmont Ave., to accommodate all the bread that is for sale.

Many loaves of the sweet bread are shaped like corpses — with heads that are smiling. One custom is to dip the bread into a bowl of hot chocolate flavored with cinnamon and almonds.

In the restaurant, the smell of burning copalli (incense) wafts at an altar displaying the mementos of owner Tomasa Lopez’s family.

“This time for us is really, really beautiful,” she says. “It’s family together, with our dead.”

The bread, especially shipped from Los Angeles to the restaurant, is available for $2-$10. The chocolate costs $6. Also available are popular Dia de Los Muertos foods such as mole negro ($7) and tlayuda corn tortillas ($1.25).

The restaurant is open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. Details: (559) 454-1614.

Walk in a procession

Put on your walking shoes and join one of two popular processions.

In Fresno, the annual Artes Américas procession will start at 3 p.m. Sunday, beginning at St. John’s Cathedral, 2814 Mariposa St., and ending at Arte Américas.

Everyone follows Aztec dancers. At the center, strolling musicians will provide music. Pan de muertos and chocolate drinks will be available.

In the foothill community of Hornitos, about 85 miles northeast of Fresno, a candlelit procession and Mass will start at 6 p.m. Monday, beginning in the town plaza and ending up a hill at St. Catherine of Siena Catholic Church and cemetery.

The church, built in the 1860s as a mission station of St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Mariposa, is open only on the Feast Day of St. Catherine in late April and on the Feast of All Souls Day. Hornitos was a historic gold-mining town.

St. Joseph’s pastor, the Rev. Stephen Bulfer, leads the procession and Mass.

Details: (209) 966-2522.

Get crafty

Create your own shrine to honor the dead.

Need ideas? Check out the Web site of Crafty Chica Kathy Cano-Murillo at craftychica.com. Her products and blog can also be found at iLoveToCreate.com, a Duncan Enterprises Company.

There are lots of ideas at both Web sites for making altars and other Dia de Los Muertos-inspired crafts. You can also take a look at shrines created by some of the Crafy Chica’s readers for a “Create a Day of the Dead Shrine” contest that was held last week. Pictures of the shrines can be found at flickr.com/groups/craftychicachallenge.

Of Dia de Los Muertos, Cano-Murillo says, “It’s not a scary thing; it’s done out of respect.”

Want to go ghost hunting in Fresno this Halloween? Check these places out.

As Halloween approaches, people have been asking me if I could recomend them a good haunted place to see a ghost. So I've decided to list several haunts in the valley that are reported to be haunted for anyone out there who is interested in doing a bit of ghost hunting.

Channel Road, Sanger CA - The legend behind Channel Road, or Snake Road as it is nicknamed, is that of a woman and her two daughters were driving along the winding road and took a turn too fast and crashed into the Kings River. The woman couldn't get out of the car and died there, but her two daughters escaped but drowned downstream. At nights it is said she wanders up and down the road looking for her two daughters.

Del Rey Cemetery, Sanger CA Not to far from Channel Road, is the Del Rey Cemetery. Rumors of a strange glowing headstone, whispering voices, and shadowy figures have been reportedly seen at this small cemetery.

Bardsley Road, Exeter CA- The story of a decapitated biker riding up and down this country road has been told for decades. People have reported a single headlight moving along the road, but once it gets near them it disappears.

The Bastille, Hanford CA - The orginal prison for Kings County has had it's share or prisoners over the years and not all have left. People have been touched by an unseen presence and others have reported a feeling of being watched. The Bastille is now a restaurant/nightclub and are open with their haunted history.

New Hope Cemetery, Madera CA - The first haunted spot I ever investigated, this small cemetery in western Madera County has had a strange history. Rumors of the church being burned down by Satanist who then performed bizarre rituals in the cemetery were first told to me over a decade ago. From hearing little girls laughter to seeing strange lights in the orchards surrounding the cemetery, this place is definitely strange.

Kearney Park, Fresno CA - I had just reported on the strange going ons here, so it might be worth a look.

Springville Inn, Springville, CA -In the small town of Springville, east of Porterville, is the Springville Inn. Several ghosts haunt the place. I would imagine the hotel is doing something for Halloween given their openness to their haunted history.


So these are a few places one can go to look for ghosts. If you do though, make sure you do not go alone and let someone know where you are going. Make sure to take a flashlight with you and a camera or camcorder in case you see anything. And for the love of God, do not trespass. I mentioned a few cemeteries and a public park, these places do have hours of operations and you will be charged for trespassing if you go there afterward. Don't give actual paranormal investigators a bad name just because you are looking for a cheap thrill. Have fun this Halloween, but be smart about it at the same time.

Is Fresno's Kearney Park haunted?

Does the ghost of M. Theo Kearney haunt his former residence? - Photo courtesy of historicfresno.org

Several miles west of downtown Fresno, lies Kearney Park. The park was started in 1892 by M. Theo. Kearney and was to be part of a 225 acre agriculture complex. The current mansion was originally to be the caretakers quarters, unfortunately it and an adjacent servant's quarters were all that were built as Mr. Kearney died in 1906 and his dreams of an agricultural "Garden of Eden" were never completed.

Though Mr. Kearney died over one hundred years ago, there are rumors that he still walks his property at night, perhaps dismayed that his dream was never completed. There are also stories that a house maid, a Nora S., also wanders the darkened halls at night. Perhaps she feels she still needs to make sure the residence is kept in order for Mr. Kearney. Others have seen a man wandering around in the wooded area near the house. Others have felt as if someone from the house was watching them and once someone said they saw a female figure on the porch.

There is also an urban legend stating that a woman in white (some call her the White Witch) haunts the railroad tracks on the property and that anyone who is unfortunate enough to see her eyes, dies immediately. Personally, I find this highly unlikely as if she kills anyone who sees her, how can there be any witnesses to pass on this claim?

Still, Kearney Park is one of those Fresno treasures that most people know about, but may have never gone. The City of Fresno currently owns the Mansion and Park and you can tour the Mansion for a small fee. For further information on public tours of the Kearney Mansion, you can call 559-441-0862.

Strange craft caught on film flying over Kearney Boulevard

Over the weekend I received a voice mail from someone saying they were taking some pictures out by Kearney Boulevard a few months ago and they had forgotten about the film until last week. When they got the pictures developed, they noticed something strange in the last couple of shots. I then got an e-mail from them with some scans, one of the original photo with the object in it, the other an enlargement.

At first I was almost tempted to dismiss these as some sort of bug or other flying creature. The person had told me they had not seen anything at the time they were taking the photos, and in my opinion how could you not see this? Though they also told me they were taking these photos to finish off a roll of film, so there is the chance that they weren't really paying attention to what's in the sky but just hitting the shutter until the film had stopped advancing. But I was showing these to some friends on Sunday and one of them actually recognized the object.

They used to work out near Kearney and had seen the object in the air several times. They described it as large craft, longer than the length of a football field and made hardly any sound. The small orangish lights on the object appear to be engines, according to my friend. Though we were unable to determine what is causing the pinkish glare, though I imagine it's from the sun as it was near sunset when the picture was taken. The photographer thinks it was a glare from a porthole or something, though I'm not sure how that is possible. I've sent it to a few photograph experts I know in hopes of getting an opinion. I'm also sending these to the local MUFON investigator here in hopes that he can find out what this is. As always, anything I find out I will post here.

Storm Wrecks Popular Corn Maze Haunt

I had posted last week about several Halloween attractions in the Fresno area, including the haunted corn maze Raisin Hell.  Unfortunately due to a severe storm that hit the valley on Tuesday, the maze won't be open this year as most of if it was destroyed.  KMPH 26 reports on this.



MADERA - These are spine tingling scenes from last October at the "Raisin Hell Ranch" in Madera County.  But the attraction won't host any terrified guests.
In fact the only horror these cornstalks witnessed this year was the look on workers' faces when they arrived in the morning, to find their maze destroyed.

"This was just a devastating thing to have happen," Darren Schmall said.

Darren Schmall runs the "Raisin Hell Ranch" and he's been growing the corn since August.
It was all destroyed Tuesday in a day of very heavy rain.  In addition to a corn maze, the ranch was supposed to feature two separate haunts, the Chupacabra Haunt and the Demonic Scarecrows.

60 people were hired and ready to scare the bejeepers out of thrill seekers, but:
"Because we're not going to open, all those folks are out of a job," Schmall said.
The operators have 10 thousand free passes and 150 thousand coupons floating around to attract people; they're now worthless.

Darren Schmall says he considers 2009 a practice year for his team of ghouls.  "Next year we'll be back and be bigger and better than ever," he said.

The owners are also involved with Cobb ranch corn maze and pumpkin patch.
They're urging people to head out there this year for some Halloween fun.

Original story can be found here.

Win passes to the Fright Night Scream Park in Clovis

When I went to the Fright Night Scream Park last week, there were two things I was able to get come away from that place with. One was my life and the other were four pairs of passes to one of the attractions there. Since I'm such a giving person I thought I would give them away to people who post a comment on this blog post (or is it that I was able to escape by telling the zombies I would send eight people in my place? You'll never know...).

But there's a catch. You have to tell me what your favorite scary movie is and why.

Winners will be chosen randomly, but please make sure log in so I have a way to contact you that you have won. The tickets are good for any from Oct. 16- Oct 31, except Fridays and Saturdays. For days they are open and where they are located, you can click here.

Update. The contest is now over. Thank you to everyone who commentated and the winners will be recieving an e-mail from me.